Neighbor v3

Dear Neighbor,

I’m writing to apologize for the noise earlier tonight. Our roommate is moving out, and she rented a steam cleaning machine, so we used the machine to clean other parts of the carpet as well. Unfortunately the only time we had available to work on this was 7:30 to 8:30 and the machine was due back the following day. This is a one-time event and I don’t expect to have any future needs to clean carpets in the evening.

More importantly, I’m writing to address your other concern. You seemed to be upset by the fact that I contacted the homeowner’s association about noise coming from your apartment. I am sorry you feel upset by this, but please understand that I felt I had no other choice. My previous attempts to ask you to turn the music down had not been successful.

Of course, my preference would be to work things out between us, by talking to each other and treating each other with respect and consideration. However, the last time I contacted you about it (in February 2001) you became angry and you indicated to me that you don’t really care what I think, and that you would prefer that I not contact you when it happens again. Based on your response, I felt that I had no choice but to seek help.

The fact that you were comparing the two incidents suggests to me that you feel you were unfairly treated, or that I am being hypocritical when complaining about your behavior. I am not sure how to address this. I don’t feel the two incidents are equivalent, but that is just my opinion; if you feel differently, you are entitled to your opinion as well. You have complained twice about noise coming from my apartment, once about noise I make when walking on the floor, and once about cleaning the carpets. It is difficult to tell if you are being sincere, since each complaint came immediately after I complained about something else. Regardless, I have been polite and respectful and tried to address your concerns.

Regarding your question about whether you should contact the homeowners’ association about the noise, I can’t make this decision for you. Please use your own judgement. If you feel that my reckless carpet-cleaning is disturbing you, that it’s against the rules (or should be), and that repeated attempts to talk to me about the ongoing problem of running loud machinery after hours have not resolved the issue to your satisfaction, then by all means, I encourage you to take whatever action you feel is appropriate. As I said, my preference would be to work things out between us, and if you want to come to me with an honest concern and discuss it politely, I will do my best to address your concern with respect and consideration.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. You do not need to reply, but feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns.

Greg Connor

For those of you who took the time to read this far, thanks. If you didn’t see the first two incidents, they are here and here.

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0 thoughts on “Neighbor v3

  1. running_dog

    Ah, for the good old days! They’d take the varmit out to the desert and plug him fulla holes.

    You’re done with all the face-to-face, I’m afraid. Put pressure on the home association to do something. That’s what they’re for. Keep calling the cops on the little brat and insist that they cite him. Or have a lawyer send him a nasty note. He must be used to people caving in to him whenever he throws a hissy fit, so you have to stand firm.

    If none of this works, I know an ornery gang of outlaws…

    1. nekodojo

      Thanks for the encouragement and wisdom. I tend to agree that talking to him isn’t going to help anymore; though I may attempt it if the opportunity presents itself, I don’t hold out much hope. So I am taking notes with one hand and looking for a nicer place to move with the other.

      Speaking of moving, freakshow the neighbor might be moving… he is trying to sell his house. But he isn’t trying very hard — he has had a “for sale by owner” sign up for a couple months now, with a number and a URL, but it is not listed in MLS, and is priced higher than the three other condos in the same complex that are listed. Oh well.

  2. colubra

    DEFINITELY maintain a paper copy, dated. If it comes down to your neighbor being more evil and (god forbid) the courts get involved, it will be helpful to have a diary of your desires to do improper things that you did NOT do.
    Makes you look nice and sane, so to speak- also, provides a chronology of your irritations. This tactic was recommended to me as highly a good thing by the SF Tenant’s Union, when I was living with an insane alcoholic.

    1. nekodojo

      Thanks for the tip! I will definitely keep notes. Paper copy is a good idea. My hope is that he will move out – though I will probably get tired of the place and move out before long anyway.


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