On Lose It! there is a lot of discussion about whether sugar is terrible, whether to avoid it completely or to dole out tiny amounts. Most folks will answer that it is best to measure out tiny amounts but not deprive yourself of it completely. But I wasn’t really satisfied with either approach. So I wrote the following.

I found it was best for Sugar and I to take a break from each other. I feel like I do want Sugar in my life, but lately we have become, shall I say, overly familiar, and when we see each other every day, multiple times a day, our relationship loses something. That spark wasn’t really there. Plus I think Sugar can get a bit… demanding? clingy maybe? Like, if Sugar thinks I’m not responding quickly enough to her… overtures, it can get uncomfortable for both of us.

So I told Sugar I wanted us to take a break from each other. Wow, Sugar was mad about this. Was it going to be forever? Did I think she was a terrible nutrient? But finally I made Sugar understand that my mind was made up, we were not to see each other for 4 weeks.

Boy, was Sugar a pest during the first 2 weeks. Especially days 5-10. She kept reminding me of what I was missing, and even giving me headaches. But after the first 2 weeks, it was pretty peaceful. I had a lot more time to get reacquainted with other nutrients. Sugar made my life sweet, for sure, but not seeing her every day gave me back a level of sanity.

Now I am happy to report that Sugar and I are back together. We don’t see each other as often as Sugar likes, but I’m comfortable with it. We see each other probably twice a week now. And I have become much more picky about our encounters. I used to enjoy a quick Twix or something at lunchtime but now that doesn’t cut it for me. I want it to be special, every time. So I plan our encounters and insist on the best quality. Instead of a candy bar, now I prefer two squares of really high quality dark chocolate. Instead of 3 doughnuts, I will pick the ONE doughnut that I love the most and that will be memorable throughout the week. And sometimes when I’m out with friends at a really nice place, I love to share a really decadent dessert with a friend or loved one.

So for me it wasn’t really about depriving myself. It was about renegotiating and resetting boundaries. Sugar had to understand that she couldn’t just show up at work and expect me to stop what I was doing to pay attention to her. But it was also about cultivating an appreciation for each other again. Now when we see each other, it is in the best possible light. And I’m so much more happy with our relationship now. I’m in control, and the magic is back.