Miche and I had sex again tonight. She had some pain, but we managed to find a position that was not painful, and which she said was actually kind of nice, so I’m encouraged by that.

We have been trying to get together and have snuggle time for the last week or so, with some success. I want us to get in the habit of being in bed together and paying attention to each other, every night for an hour, whether or not we have sex. My thinking there is that hopefully we can create an environment where she feels slightly more comfortable (as in not anxious) and also one where she is willing to experiment with being varying levels of uncomfortable, taking small risks and feeling safe to do so.

I am going to continue to pester her to try things that make her uncomfortable, but I want her to feel like she has some level of control, and can sort of manage her own discomfort levels. Ideally I would like her to pick the nights that she feels “less uncomfortable” to have sex. I know she doesn’t actively want it, but maybe it will start to become less uncomfortable and less anxious. That won’t necessarily lead to her enjoying and wanting sex, but I think it’s a necessary first step, even if I dont know what step 2 is.